Once in a while I get drawn into the cultural zeitgeist—mostly by my wonderful women friends. As I was sitting in this quaint outdoor market with my very sweet friend Eli the other day, I found myself in that exact scenario.
Looking at me with restrained glee, she leaned in as if sharing a well-kept secret and said, “Have you seen Inside Out 2?
I shook my head for just a second before she gushed, “Oh my gosh, you of all people are really going to appreciate it!”
“But, why me of all people?” I teased. I knew she meant that my clinical psychology background and work with children may influence my thoughts and feelings. But I probed a bit further.
“I don’t want to ruin it for you, but let’s just say the way they show how anxiety shows up in puberty, is spot on! I got really choked up when all of these other emotions come online when the main character hits 13.”
“Hmmm, that does sounds interesting! I replied enthusiastically.
Short of pinky-swearing, I felt like I now HAD to see this movie, if only so I could go back to Eli and dish about it.
And so, friends, I saw Inside Out 2, but brace yourselves for what may be a very unpopular opinion about my experience.
Anxiety's not separate from fear
One of the biggest things this film gets wrong, is that anxiety is a unique and separate experience from fear. It’s not—anxiety at its very core is fear. While fear can be considered primal and result in the flight, fight, fawn response, anxiety is based on personal experiences. Children develop anxiety because something beyond their control happens that makes them afraid. And anxious thought patterns emerge to help them avoid this pain in the future.
In the case of Riley, the protagonist in Inside Out 2, she struggles with the fear of failure and the worry of being seen as unlikable and unlovable. Her friends are going to a new school without her, she’s been penalized in a hockey game by her coach, she’s surrounded by new girls who she wants so badly to fit in with. All of these fears swirl inside of her, and because she doesn’t have language for her internal storm, or a role model for how to manage all of her big emotions, we see her besieged by fear. In one scene, Riley has a panic attack while sitting on the bench during a hockey game. Anxiety has taken complete control of her nervous system and all of her other emotions are trying desperately to help her gain homeostasis. And I have to say, when she starts to take deep breaths to ground herself, I had to wonder, who taught her to do this? Riley automatically knowing to take deep breaths to calm herself is not something I’ve seen children do without modeling from adults. Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad the creators show children how using their breath and body can help them self-regulate during moments of overwhelm, but I wanted to see a more accurate depiction of this in the film.
Also, where is her internalized parent (superego) in the emotional mix? How cool would it be to see an older, wiser, loving voice helping her? Yes, there’s Joy, but is she really supposed to embody Riley’s wise self? Apparently, the creators seem to think Joy should govern a child’s experience and all of the other emotions are ancillary. And yes, in the end, all the emotions have to come together for Riley to function and return to a sense of self rooted in “ok-ness”, which is Great! Love that. But, still, how would a 13- year-old know how to do that intuitively? How did we go from Riley’s core beliefs and sense of self being completely replaced by shame-driven, fear-based ones as soon as puberty strikes to a re-boot and new sense of well-being? For me, it just fell flat.
Can we also talk about how overblown, the creators made Riley’s experience of anxiety??? For me, this is the opposite of the message I want kids to internalize. In the end, we experience emotions— we aren’t made of our emotions. They’re part of being human. And Riley feeling anxious, embarrassed, worried about the future, wanting to fit in and unsure of who she is in the world- what could be more human?
Ultimately, Inside Out 2 gives parents and kids a starting point for talking about complex concepts like core beliefs and emotional regulation—so kudos there! But it also shines a light on just how far we as a society are from teaching emotional literacy and self-love.
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