Coping Skills for Kids: A Practical List by Feeling

When they're angry

Anger can take over quickly. Before trying to talk through what happened, help your child find a safe way to get some of that energy out.

• •Push against a wall as hard as you can for ten seconds.
• •Stomp your feet or squeeze a pillow.
• •Run to the fence and back.
• •Squeeze your fists tightly, then open your hands and let them relax.
• •Give the feeling a size: "Is this little angry, big angry, or volcano angry?"

Once things have settled, you can come back to what happened.

When they're worried

Worry can pull kids into everything that might happen. Simple activities that bring their attention back to what's happening right now can help.

• •Put both feet on the floor and name five things you can see.
• •Try finger breathing, tracing up and down each finger.
• •Draw the worry. It can be as silly, scary, or strange as it wants to be.
• •Ask, "Where do you feel the worry in your body?"
• •Think of one small thing that would help the situation feel a little more manageable.

And sometimes the most helpful thing you can say is simply, "I'm here. We'll figure this out together."

When they're sad

You don't have to rush sadness away. Sometimes kids need space to feel sad and the comfort of knowing they don't have to feel it alone.

• •Sit close and let them decide whether they want to talk.
• •Curl up together with a favorite blanket.
• •Look at photos from a happy memory.
• •Write or draw something for the person, pet, place, or thing they miss.
• •Take a slow walk outside together.

You don't have to do anything when your child is sad other than really be present and sit with them as you both allow for the sadness.

When they're frustrated

Frustration often shows up when kids have been trying and trying and something still isn't working.

• •Step away from the task for a few minutes.
• •Make the next step really small.
• •Ask, "Which part feels the hardest?"
• •Decide together whether to keep going or come back to it later.
• •Notice something that did work, even if it wasn't the whole thing.

Taking a break doesn't mean giving up. Sometimes it's exactly what helps us try again.

When they're overwhelmed

When everything feels like too much, make the world a little smaller for a while.

• •Lower the lights or turn down extra noise.
• •Give one simple direction at a time.
• •Run cool water over their hands.
• •Offer a cozy blanket, a hug, or something comforting to hold.
• •Save the questions and conversations for later.

This is a good time for fewer words, fewer choices, and lots of patience.

How to help kids use these skills

The middle of a meltdown isn't the easiest time to learn something new. Instead, practice coping skills during ordinary moments. Make them part of everyday life so your child already knows what they are and how they feel.

• •Try them in the car, before bed, or while you're waiting somewhere.
• •Let your child see you use coping skills, too.
• •Have them choose two or three favorites and keep a reminder somewhere they can see it.
• •After a hard moment has passed, talk about what might help next time.
• •Notice the effort: "You were really frustrated and you took a break. That helped."

Over time, kids begin learning which tools work best for them and when to use them.

When to get extra support